


Convenience

by looselybaker



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), College, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Pre-Relationship, Roommates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25925668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/looselybaker/pseuds/looselybaker
Summary: As time goes by, Misaki finds herself going from begrudging acquaintances to treasured friends with a certain guitarist, slowly but surely.  But after a year apart, she's faced with a situation that could shift things in a different direction, and perhaps awaken some feelings she had previously chosen to ignore.
Relationships: Okusawa Misaki/Seta Kaoru
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. First Year

“What do you think you’re going to do?” Misaki had the coveted spot on Kaoru’s bed despite her insistences that she would be just fine on the floor. She lay propped up against the headboard, knees awkwardly halfway to her chest and open notebook in her arms.

A conversation topic had arisen; certainly not one Misaki found herself particularly fond of, but one they were now discussing nonetheless.

“Ahh, naturally I hope to pursue theater. The stage simply calls my name, after all. As I’m sure you know, Misaki,” Kaoru responded with a flourish of the hand. “And you, my dear?” Ah, her. She should’ve been expecting that.

“I…guess I didn’t think about it all that much before,” she sighed, frowning. “You’re lucky. You have something you really like.” _Must be nice, being naturally charismatic, flamboyant, and dramatic._ …Actually, giving it more thought, she was grateful she wasn’t exactly like Kaoru.

“And you do not?” Kaoru sat up straight to look at her directly, surprised.

“I mean, I don’t know. I guess I like the turntables. And I kind of like music.” Misaki wracked her brain for a few more moments. “…And that’s it, I think.” Oh. That really was it. It felt kind of…sad.

“Surely you may find you wish to pursue an education in such an area then?”

She gave it some thought. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that,” Misaki hummed, eyes narrowing as she mused. A composer? Maybe something in a record studio? What did people in record studios even do?

“No matter. Whatever it may be, I know for certain you’ll excel,” Kaoru said with conviction as she turned back to the abandoned homework on the table, picking up a pencil and staring at her math problem set.

The compliment was uttered so naturally and nonchalantly, and she often issued so many of them, yet it gave her pause. “Uh, thanks. I think you’ll do pretty well yourself,” Misaki coughed, watching as the taller girl absentmindedly tapped the eraser of the pencil to her lips before dropping it again, gaze wandering around the room as a result of her focus ebbing away once more.

“My deepest thanks, Misaki. Such words are fleeting to the soul, indeed.” Kaoru looked up at her from her seat on the floor and smiled a genuine, gentle smile. She felt herself grin back at the sight, too. Perhaps this was why she had so many adoring fans; she noticed herself understanding her appeal more and more lately. That dummy wasn’t so bad after all…when she wasn’t spouting quotes left and right. And that happened to be oftentimes.

The meeting in Kaoru’s room had been one born of convenience--or so she told herself. A timely run-in with the prince on the way home from school led to casual conversation, and then mutual lamenting about unfinished homework, and finally the proposal of a friendly joint study session.

She couldn’t say she was particularly close with Haneoka’s most popular student; at least, not any more so than the rest of the band. She definitely spent more time with Kanon outside of band activities after all, and Kokoro and Hagumi tended to wander into her daily life more often since they both attended Hanasakigawa.

Though, as she began to ponder it further, she realized maybe Kaoru had been there for her more than she previously thought. There was just something about the way she held herself, the way she spoke, how she managed to make herself feel so approachable. Kaoru might have been the one who knew the most about her out of the four of them…which was a strange thought. She surely wouldn’t have even entertained it when they had first met.

So such an instance where it was just the two of them was an oddity--though, certainly not an unwelcome one.

“Any luck?” Misaki called as she stopped slacking and started to write, analyzing the problems before her.

“Hm?” Kaoru looked up from a thick book propped open on the table. One that was definitely not assigned reading.

“Your home…nevermind.” She shook her head, returning her attention to a particular English question that went in one ear and out the other. Defeated, Misaki grabbed her phone from the nightstand and clicked it on, the time glowing onscreen. Her eyes widened in realization.

“Shit! It’s late,” She immediately got up off the bed and made to gather her belongings with all haste, bustling about the room. “Sorry, Kaoru-san,” she said as she shoved textbook after textbook into her bag. “I really lost track of time.”

“Ah, my apologies, Misaki. I should have known to keep a closer watch on the hour. How careless of me!” Kaoru got up to quickly collect her pencils and pens and placed them in her case, zipping it up and handing it to her before moving on to sorting her papers. “My, I can’t seem to find a clip for your precious stationery, Misaki. Would you happen to possess one?” She sounded genuinely distressed about the clip and lack thereof, rushing about to help her as best she could.

“...Huh? Oh, it’s fine, Kaoru-san. Thanks.” Misaki took the pile from her hands, clip unnecessary, and stuffed it in her notebook, closing it shut with a snap and stowing it away. “I think that’s everything. Sorry I have to get going so sudden like this. I really appreciate you having me over,” she said as she slipped on her shoes, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Nonsense, my dear. It was my pleasure.” Kaoru’s head happened to turn to look out the window. She abruptly stood up straight at the sight. “My! It’s quite dark out, Misaki,” she noticed, her voice thick with concern. “I cannot possibly allow a dainty kitten such as yourself venture out into the treacherous unknown so late!” Kaoru stepped forward and took her hands in hers. Misaki froze, mouth agape. “Please, allow me to escort you, princess.”

She had known Kaoru was forward, but experiencing it firsthand was a different story. She wanted to insist that it was alright, that she had made the journey alone at this time on many an occasion, but the ever-chivalrous prince was already putting on her own loafers and grabbing her coat from the rack. There was no use fighting it.

“That’s the Kaoru-san thing to do, alright. Yeah, okay. Let’s get going.”

—

It really was dark out.

It wasn’t like the area was relatively dangerous at all, but Misaki felt grateful she hadn’t tried to refuse the offer. The notion that somebody could’ve been following her in the near pitch-black in the area off the beaten path and she would be none the wiser was reason alone to utilize the buddy system.

She was surprised at the relative silence they walked in, side by side as they made their way down the street and ultimately to the station. Kaoru was normally talkative to say the least; though she had to remind herself she didn’t quite know her well in a one-on-one situation.

Misaki angled her head upwards to search the taller girl’s face, hands in her pockets in an attempt to stave off the cold. As she looked, she noticed how Kaoru’s eyes often wandered as she walked, never focusing on any one thing for more than a few short moments. And it was getting quite entertaining to follow her gaze, wondering what she was thinking about in that strange mind of hers. What else did one have to do on a boring, long walk in the dark on a damned freezing winter’s night?

That was, she was having fun, until Kaoru’s crimson eye landed on her.

Immediately, she looked away in an attempt to pass it off as an accident, feeling a blush of shame rise to her cheeks. She almost forgot how embarrassing it was to be caught staring…not like she did much of it, anyways.

If Kaoru noticed, she didn’t show it. “Misaki, kitten, would I be amiss to ask for your expertise on a certain matter?” she asked as they rounded a bend, tilting her head to the side.

“Uh, no, of course not. What’s on your mind?” Misaki sputtered a response, still recovering from being caught red-handed.

“I’m glad you asked!” Kaoru said with a flourish. _I didn’t though, you did…_ “You see, I decided with talent such as mine regarding the art of guitar, I would try my hand at creating a song that can only be described as ‘fleeting’. Though, I appear to have reached an…impasse.” She looked deeply troubled, a finger to her chin.

This was bound to be interesting. “And what’s that?”

“I…simply cannot do it! My boundless talent has now known bounds!” Kaoru cried, reaching a hand to the sky. “O, how I have prayed the heavens lend me their helping hands, but alas! Not a single stroke of inspiration has struck thus far,” she sighed with defeat, arms now to her chest.

“Um, okay. Well, I don’t exactly know what you mean by ‘can’t do it’, but first, have you started with choosing a chord progression for the song?” Misaki asked tentatively as they turned another corner.

Kaoru furrowed her brow. “I…cannot say I have. What advice might your magnificent mind have to offer me on the matter?”

Choosing to ignore the compliment, she continued. “Okay, hm. Usually, I start by asking myself the mood of the song. And then from there, maybe for example you’re going happy, something like Cs and Gs…”

Conversation continued in such a manner for a while, Kaoru nodding intently as she clung onto every word she uttered with great attentiveness. Occasionally, the guitarist would pull out her phone to take notes, face scrunched up with concentration.

“I see. So, perhaps if I did the chorus in such a way, this might be pleasing to the ears? As Shakespeare once said, ‘if music be the food of love, play on’…” With that, she played the chords’ motions with her fingers and strummed. “How’s this?” she asked, looking pleased with herself.

“Hah, funny joke, Kaoru-san.” Kaoru looked at her silently, expression confused. _You’re kidding. She…thought I could hear the air guitar? She thought I could hear the air guitar._ “It…yeah, never mind. Sounded great to me,” Misaki sighed, unable to fight the exasperated smile as it creeped onto her lips. The overjoyed expression on the older’s face was the icing on the cake.

“Excellent! Oh, Misaki, how my heart feels ever so light!” Air guitar dropped to the floor, Kaoru placed another dramatic hand to her chest, overwhelmed with emotion. “My worries have been properly quelled, and I am simply filled with anticipation to play the brand new, second rendition of my very own ‘Fleeting Theme Song’ for the world to hear. Misaki, dear, your talents will not go unnoticed. How skilled you are in the art of creation!” Kaoru exclaimed with gusto, looking to her with abundant gratitude and admiration in her eyes.

 _Creation, huh...?_ “It, it was no big deal. Happy to help,” Misaki said, averting her gaze as she felt another bout of embarrassment at the praise coming on. Where was a hat to pull over your eyes when you needed one?

They were nearly to the shopping center where the station was located now, the usually long walk feeling much more like an all-too-brief jog this time around. Time seemed to fall away when the company was…she hesitated to say good. She wasn’t quite there yet. Entertaining? Yeah, that worked. She wasn’t ready to admit she was enjoying this, no matter how much lighter she felt after their innocent chat. Nope. Not in a million years. Not with Kaoru Seta.

There were few people about at this hour, the streets empty, most citizens sitting comfortably at their homes tucked in bed in preparation for the weekday the following morning. Street lights and the shops that were still open lit the area with their fluorescent glow, illuminating a path to the station. As the two drew closer, Misaki was waiting for the point where they would stop, Kaoru would say “well, this is where we part”, and be on her way. But it never came.

Finally, Misaki stopped short at the gates to the station and shot her a pointed look. Kaoru didn’t seem to pick up on it, peering back with an innocent expression on her face. Sighing, she made a show of fishing her pass out of her bag. “Alright, I’ve just gotta get on the train here,” she said slowly, feeling the brisk air on her fingers as she was forced to remove them from the warmth of her pockets.

“Ah! How silly of me!” Kaoru chuckled lightly and turned to sift through her own purse. “Here we are.” She smiled, producing a couple hundred yen for the ride. Misaki stared at her blankly.

“Er, Kaoru-san, what’s…that for?” she questioned, pointing to the coins.

The purple-haired girl looked puzzled. “The fare for the train, of course. Dear Misaki, you cannot possibly think I would allow a fragile, precious princess such as-“ Misaki held up a hand.

“I get it. Dainty kitten, treacherous roads, yeah yeah. But you can’t…I, I mean, Kaoru-san, it’s a pretty decent while. Wouldn’t you be getting home late?” She still couldn’t believe her ears. This was taking ‘walking someone home’ to a whole other level. Who in the world would… She stopped herself. Kaoru Seta would.

“Much rather myself arrive late than some-kitten not arrive at all…no?” Kaoru replied, as if daring her to say otherwise. There were several holes in that line of logic, but she couldn’t find it in herself to refuse any more than she already had. It was more trouble than it was worth, and that girl probably knew it. Though, no matter how overtly over-dramatic, cheesy, and disgustingly “gallant” it was, it was also kind of…sweet. Objectively. Whether it was all part of some act or not.

“…Uh huh. Well, I’m not going to stop you, if that’s really what you want,” Misaki mumbled, scanning her card and walking through, Kaoru following suit without a second to spare.

“It most certainly is. A dear kitten’s safety is paramount, after all.”

They stood side by side as they waited for the next train, Misaki bouncing back and forth on her toes to stave off the chill. Looking to her left, Kaoru seemed to be trying to suppress the feeling altogether, but the light chattering of her teeth said enough of her current state.

A tram arrived not long after, though not soon enough in such weather, and screeched to a halt in front of them. The doors swung open and Misaki hastily stepped inside with Kaoru on her heels, grateful for the warm blast of air that washed over her as she took her seat. Kaoru sat down beside her, crossing her legs neatly with hands folded resting across her thighs.

The car was otherwise empty. As the train began to pick up speed and the outside was visible once more, she noticed Kaoru didn’t take out her phone. Instead, she simply gazed out the window across from them, appearing deep in thought as the world passed them by.

Misaki debated pulling out her own device for entertainment on the half-hour--give or take some--ride, but instead she found her head lolling forward and her eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy. It was much later than she thought it was, that was for sure.

She would have loved to have said she fought it as best she could, as her eyes closed fully and her chin rested on her chest, the light rocking of the train and the faint clatter of the tracks a particularly effective lullaby. But she didn’t.

Though, before she lost consciousness completely, she felt a gentle hand on her face, the graze of calloused fingers on her skin. An ache was relieved from her neck and back as she felt her head adjusted, left cheek meeting something soft. A coat. A shoulder wearing a coat. A tall shoulder wearing a coat. The steady, comforting rise and fall of the makeshift pillow only served as yet another soothing sensation that lulled her further into sleep.

As did the mysterious, tender touch on her right arm rubbing back and forth with great care.

—

“Misaki. Misaki, dear. Kitten. Misaki...”

Misaki came to with a light shaking of her shoulders, easing her awake slowly but surely. “Hnn…” she groaned in protest, eyes still shut in her reluctance.

“Misaki, my apologies, but we have reached our destination. We must make haste, my dear.”

Wait. _Kitten…?_

She tentatively allowed her eyelids to open halfway. …What was she lying on? She turned her head upwards.

Immediately, she sat up straight, now alert. Or perhaps, as alert as one could be.

“Oh… oh!” Misaki stood from her seat, instinctively checking her belongings. Before she could say or do much else, Kaoru had grabbed hold of her hand, leading her out of the train’s open doors with gentle urgency.

“Apologies,” Kaoru said again as they stood on the platform in the nick of time, Misaki swearing the doors nearly clipped the tail end of her coat. “You looked ever so peaceful. But I’m afraid I couldn’t have you home any later.”

She couldn’t quite find the words, still half-asleep and in a daze. “Er, no, no, you’re uh, you’re fine.” Misaki looked away, brain beginning to catch up. “Thanks, I think.”

“No trouble at all, dear princess. Can you find the way?” Kaoru asked, gesturing to the path before them. Misaki blinked rapidly in an attempt to jumpstart her senses.

“Yeah, I, I think so.” She started down the street with semi-confidence, her escort walking beside her. She could’ve sworn the prince hovered a few inches closer than before, looking as if she was preparing for the fact that Misaki might fall over unconscious in the street in her exhaustion.

The journey was made in relative silence. This stretch was not nearly as long as the last, though still the walk made her fatigue more and more noticeable by the second. Kaoru was standing by, looking just about ready to carry her. Maybe not such a bad idea.

But before she could entertain such outlandish ideas further, they were there. Kaoru was there. All the way there. Misaki turned around to look at her as they stopped in front of the door, feeling slightly sheepish.

“Thanks for walking me all the way here. You really didn’t have to,” she said, shifting from foot to foot. Just what was the line between considerate and wildly gracious? She was sure Kaoru crossed it every day of her life.

“Nonsense, my dear. I can sleep soundly tonight knowing you are safe and sound in your humble abode,” she insisted, a hand to her chest in sincerity. Misaki absentmindedly found her phone and switched it on. The number on the clock made her do a double take.

“Woah, woah, what about you? Look at this!” She showed the older the screen in disbelief. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright going back?” The commute was at least an hour. Guilt washed over her, with a decent helping of genuine concern.

_Worrying about the dummy. Never thought the day would come._

And yet, it had.

“Of course, kitten! I have no qualms with the darkness. And sleep does not overtake me yet! Please, don’t fret,” Kaoru insisted, a smile with undeserved confidence and reassurance planted firmly on her face. Misaki narrowed her eyes. It was getting late to deal with her dramatics.

“Yeah, sure. Well, at least text me when you get back, alright?” she huffed, stuffing her phone back in her pocket. “Thanks again, really.” She meant it. She hadn’t really expected to not mind the outing as much as she did.

“Certainly. Well, dear Misaki, ‘Good night good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight ‘till it be morrow’.” Kaoru flourished grandly with a hand, gracing her with a miniature bow, and additionally throwing her a smile before she made her leave. Not the smug, nonchalant one she often wore, nor the one she flashed to her fans in the halls. A happy one. One that had truly enjoyed the evening, however late it had become.

Misaki smiled back. “Good night, Kaoru-san.” She turned around to jingle her keys in the door as quietly as possible so as not to disturb any potentially slumbering family members. She opened it successfully with a quiet creak, and moved to step inside, but not before tossing one last glance over her shoulder as the tall figure made its way down the road, and she watched until she could see it no more.

Perhaps there was more to this particular dummy than she previously thought.


	2. Second Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She said it herself; it had only been a few days. But she had taken for granted the outings with the violet-haired Shakespeare enthusiast that had admittedly become more and more frequent in the past year.

Misaki waited patiently outside Haneoka Girls’ High School as a sea of students rushed past, each and every one eager to be the first out just as the clock struck the hour. She made certain to stay completely out of their way and then some, the thought of being caught up in their merciless currents inducing a shudder. There wasn’t much rush to be getting out of here just yet anyways.

Eventually, the commotion died down. She noticed others, a select few from Hanasakigawa, leaning against the school gates and passing the time on their phones as they, too, likely waited for their own classmates to finish club activities or student council work. Though, she couldn’t quite manage their level of nonchalance. It was hard to feel at ease in a different school, no matter how much she visited this particular one.

She perked up when she saw a tall, purple-haired figure exit the building, a flock of first-years following closely.

“Ah, dear kittens, how I have enjoyed our time together today…but alas, I must bid adieu, though it burns me so.” The girl put a hand to her heart and a pained look on her face, prompting disappointed squeals from the underclassmen (and, she noticed, upperclassmen alike). “Please, keep working hard, for yours truly. May you all have a blessed day!” And with a bow and a few kisses planted on eager hands, she continued down the pathway, away from her adoring fans.

And towards a certain DJ.

Misaki saw her wave eagerly in the distance and gradually pick up her walking pace before Haneoka’s very own prince stopped before her, guitar slung over her back.

“Misaki! How I have missed you so!” she sang, arms doing broad gestures all about. “My apologies. The dear kittens of the theater club had some pressing questions that I could not answer in my absence.”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t waiting long. Welcome back, Kaoru-san,” Misaki said as they began the walk away from the academy side by side. She could’ve sworn she received jealous death glares as she went. “How’d your trip go?”

“Oh, marvelous! Stupendous! Excellent!” Kaoru’s eyes suddenly sparkled. “There were many an enjoyable activity with my beloved family! What fleeting fun! Though, I must admit, the highlight was the most fleeting thing of all…” She brought her hands to her chest, eyes closed as if reliving the moment. “The lovely academic establishments we visited! Oh, how plentiful they were, Misaki! So many lovely stages, so many lovely people, I could see myself attending every single one of them!” She murmured a familiar tune, clearly on cloud-nine.

“Really? Wow, that’s great, Kaoru-san.” Misaki looked up at her face, the expression on it one of pure bliss. “So you’re applying to them?”

“Likely. Though there is much I have not yet seen, the results cannot be argued with. And the location is splendidly convenient as well.” Kaoru went on about various other details of her extended weekend vacation as they crossed the bridge and neared their destination.

“Well, it’s nice you had a good time. I’m glad. And it looks like you’ve got all your college stuff sorted, and all that.” They stopped short in front of the entrance to the park.

“Indeed! Thank you sincerely, Misaki. Additionally for agreeing to meet with me today. I fret for my guitar performance after such lack of practice, and I dearly hope to be at my best for tomorrow’s live.” Upon their arrival, the place was empty as the sun slowly began its descent. Kaoru led the way to a bench nestled in the corner, slipping her case’s strap over her head and removing the instrument as Misaki took her seat beside her.

“Uh, it’s only been a couple of days. I think you’ll be fine.”

“Nonsense. One can never be too certain, Misaki dear.” Kaoru got into position and began to tune, tongue slightly poking out of her mouth as she held her ear closer to the neck of the guitar, as if it might help.

When finished, she slowly strummed up and down, playing a few simple chords with her long, calloused fingers, likely easing her way back into playing before giving their newest song a couple run throughs. As she became more comfortable, she stood up and played as if she was onstage, twirling around and performing the extravagant tricks that would usually garner cheers and screams from the audience when they played live--though, without a crowd, it looked a little ridiculous. Misaki noticed her fingers moving a little sloppier than usual as she transitioned between the more difficult chords, but she was otherwise just as she was before she left.

“It’s looking pretty show-ready to me. Not sure what you needed me for,” Misaki hummed, watching with faint amusement as the actress ended a run of Worldwide Treasure with a dramatic flourish. Kaoru wiped an arm across her brow, stretching for a moment and making ready to play another.

“Why, thank you, dear Misaki. Does one truly need a reason to need you?”

“I… huh?”

“Hm? Nothing at all.” Kaoru moved to fix a slightly off-tune string before continuing to play as if the conversation was a figment of her imagination. “You’re sure there are no qualms with my performance?” she questioned, looking to her and waiting for a response before continuing.

Pushing the oddity out of her head, she gave it some thought. “Hm, uh… No, no problems. Not that I can think of. Looks like you could handle the new phrase just fine, if you tried,” she said. Kaoru nodded, apparently now having decided on Phantom Thief next. The beginning’s melody rang throughout the park as she played, her eyes occasionally shutting at points in the song where she seemed to get really into it.

It was nice to just listen to her strum away, clearly happy to be reunited with her instrument after a short time apart. As Misaki leaned back, head resting on the bench and the mountain of homework sitting in her bag that she should’ve been doing in that moment forgotten, she realized just how much she missed this.

She said it herself; it had only been a few days. But she had taken for granted the outings with the violet-haired Shakespeare enthusiast that had admittedly become more and more frequent in the past year.

It happened naturally, gradually. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact moment that she became familiar with the commute to and from Kaoru’s house and the time that theater club usually let out any day that wasn’t the week before a show. But she was.

At times, it felt strange to face the fact that she was friends with someone she normally would’ve been embarrassed to be seen out in public with. And it wasn’t like they weren’t friends before they started seeing more of each other, when band practice was pretty much the only place they’d meet. It was just that this was a little different, somehow.

“Oh-h-h! This cursed, sinful beauty of mine! Have you fallen victim to my enchanting melodies, Misaki?” Kaoru called, clearly pleased with her own performance. Misaki’s eyes shot open, quickly sitting up straight as her thoughts dissipated.

“Er, what? Ah. Yeah, not likely,” she sighed, watching on as the prince left her seat to twirl around, jumping up and strumming down with style on the landing. “Huh. Classy,” she chuckled, the sight one to behold.

“Indeed! Though, I cannot help but think it is not fitting of our newest track. I need something more, more…” The girl’s brow furrowed, hands grasping about as if trying to find the words.

“…Fleeting?” she offered. Kaoru turned to her with great surprise, mouth agape with genuine shock.

“Misaki! Can you read my mind?” she asked incredulously, now impressed.

“No, no? I just sort of know…”

Kaoru continued to play and she continued to listen until the place was bathed in a bright orange glow, and then maybe a little longer than that. Misaki did as she normally would have if she were alone in bed: reluctantly finish homework and triple-check preparations for the band’s next live. But sometimes, it was nice to have company, even if that company was mumbling various inflections of “fleeting”s under her breath deciding which sounded best as she strummed away on her electric guitar.

Though, this particular night, she found herself growing distracted as she struggled her way through History and Chemistry.

“Does one truly need a reason to need you?”

She replayed it in her head, over and over, again and again. Kaoru didn’t know what came out of her mouth half the time. It didn’t mean anything. Yet, somehow, she knew it did. But what?

It was in between songs as Kaoru absentmindedly scrolled on her phone that, suddenly, she gasped from beside her. “Oh, dear. My guardian appears to be awaiting my return…ah, with the utmost urgency,” she said slightly ashamedly, eyes fixed on a particular strongly-worded text message.

“Oh, yeah. Mine too, probably,” Misaki mused. She closed her notebook and leaned down to stuff it in her schoolbag, zipping it tight and slinging it over her shoulder, Kaoru doing the same with her instrument. “Well, hey, you played great today. I’m sure it’ll sound even better tomorrow.” She was half-surprised to hear the words leave her lips, but they were out before she had a chance to think about it.

“Naturally, with your fleeting presence I was able to excel! Thank you, Misaki.” Kaoru winked and finished gathering her things. “It is with regret that I say here we must part. I, ah, appear to have overstayed my welcome…just a tad.” She smiled sheepishly, standing up.

“Ah, haha, no problem, Kaoru-san. Get home safe. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Without a shadow of doubt, my dear. May your evening continue splendidly. ’Till ‘morrow!” And so swiftly she was walking away, up the stairs, in the opposite direction towards her house, with perhaps a bit more haste in her step than usual.

It was a while before she realized she had spaced out, staring blankly at the spot Kaoru had sat in only minutes before. The sudden darkening of the sky above alerted her, with the park no longer painted a glowing orange, but instead now a deep inigo.

Tearing her eyes away from the sight and checking her belongings for the last time, she turned around, beginning the journey in the opposite direction before the sun sunk too low. 

And though she had made it many a time in solitude before, the walk home felt a little lonelier than usual this time around.

—

“Misaki, kitten, would you mind terribly adjusting my zipper? I, ah, cannot quite seem to reach it…” Kaoru called over the pandemonium of the dressing room, twisting this way and that as she fumbled around in her costume, looking a little bit lost and a lot ridiculous.

“Sure thing, Kaoru-san.” Fighting a chuckle, she left her spot in the corner to assist, navigating through the bustle before reaching her destination and zipping up the top with a quick _fwwip._ “Feel alright?” The prince nodded in response, standing up from her chair and straightening her sleeves.

“Thank you very much. I cannot help but wonder where Kokoro and Hagumi could be at this hour,” Kaoru said, her tone more thoughtful than concerned as she checked herself over in the mirror for the last time.

“Well, you know, they’ve taken a couple extra minutes to do…something or other before. And Kanon-san should be back soon, too.” She leaned against the purple-haired girl’s section of the table, gently pushing aside a hairbrush adorned with fancy floral patterns and a container of signed guitar picks to make room for her arms.

“Ah, you’re likely correct.” Kaoru suddenly paused, closing her eyes and bringing her hands to her chest as she took a deep breath. “Mmm, oh Misaki, how I adore this sensation! The anticipation before a show is ever so…fleeting!” She looked truly happy as she savored the moment, a satisfied smile gracing her lips.

“Really? It makes me a little nervous. But I guess that’s part of the fun, too.” Misaki took a pick and turned it over in her hands, Kaoru’s unique and somewhat gaudy signature scrawled on the front. “So you’re gonna miss this, huh?”

Kaoru turned to look at her, reverie broken and confusion written all over her face. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Next year. You’re leaving, aren’t you? For school?” At the sight of Kaoru’s frown of realization, guilt stabbed her in the chest, hard.

“-Ah." The older’s gaze wandered to the floor, clearly experiencing a great inner turmoil. "Yes, that, that’s true.

_She hasn't thought about it until now, hasn't she? Oh, God._

“A-all the more reason to make the most of the time now! Right?” Misaki offered, trying desperately to fix her mistake.

Kaoru paused. “…Indeed!” she replied after a moment, confident grin returning. “I shall give it my all as always, and I will play for all of the expectant kittens until I can play no more,” she vowed, reaching a hand to the sky. The look of dread that was on her features disappeared as quickly as it came.

“…Yeah. I'm sure you will.” Misaki heard the band before theirs called to the stage. The rest of the motley crew bounded into the room, excitedly chattering amongst themselves. “Oh, uh, look, there’s everybody. Almost ready?” She would have to change into Michelle herself soon, judging by the clock on the wall.

“Certainly!” Kaoru took her instrument in her arms and silently grazed her fingers over the strings, seemingly running through the new phrase before it would be performed for the first time onstage. “Please, do be sure to watch intently this time, Misaki. I will put my heart and soul into tonight’s live in your honor!” the guitarist declared with assuredness, meeting her eyes. She couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“Yup. I’ll be watching, Kaoru-san,” she said, feeling quite as exasperated as usual, though this time, perhaps just that little bit touched.

_As much as I can, anyways._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! back with another chapter!! i actually kind of struggled with this one, and it's a little shorter. i have a clear idea for the general story but this was one of the parts where i hadn't figured out the specifics, so i really had to think about it and make some decisions regarding the plot. but it's done and i'm more confident with where i want to take the rest, so i really hope you enjoy! been having lots of fun with this one and writing the pre-relationship stuff is really interesting. any and all feedback is appreciated!


	3. Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru is leaving for college, but goodbyes are a little different from how Misaki thought they would play out.

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

She had been asleep. Peacefully so, in fact. And it had been a long day. But she was no longer.

The vibrating of her phone on the nightstand was, in reality, fairly faint. But in the dead, once-tranquil silence of the night, it was deafeningly loud, and unbearably irritating.

Grumbling and mumbling the whole time, Misaki felt about blindly in the dark for her phone, still half-asleep. Feeling something smooth, she picked it up and forced herself to look at the screen. Her eyes blinked rapidly as they burned at the unnecessarily bright sight, having to squint to see it properly.

The caller ID gave her pause.

Tentatively hitting the green answer button after a moment’s debate, she rasped, “Hello?”

A deep, uncharacteristically worried voice came back. “Hello? Oh, dear Misaki, wonderful. I was hoping you might be available!” A nervous laugh, and muffled, static shuffling.

“…Kaoru-san? It’s…” Misaki looked up at the time on the top of the screen. Her eyes shot open fully. “…It’s, God! Why on earth aren’t you asleep?! This had better be important,” she groaned, every part of her begging to hang up, roll over, and pretend this never happened.

“Ah, I suppose it is that time isn’t it!” Kaoru chuckled, though it didn’t sound like one. “Well, you see, this is the reason I’ve called at such an hour. I simply can’t get to rest! And I thought to myself, ‘Misaki would surely know what to do!’, and so, I’ve called you,” she explained. Her tone was indescribably panicked, guilt-ridden, and somehow still violently flamboyant all at once.

Though understandably, one’s annoyance was difficult to suppress. “Gee, I dunno, light a candle or something, play some music, read Shakespeare. Can’t this wait until morning?” _I think I feel a headache coming on._

“…Yes, I suppose it could. Right, well, ’til the morn’s rays shine upon us, Misaki. As the Great Bard might say-“

“Goodnight, Kaoru-san.” _Click._

Misaki slammed her phone back on the nightstand facedown and rolled over, hugging a pillow over her head. She screwed her eyes shut, head throbbing, willing sleep to return to her.

But as her mind cleared, worry tugged at her chest. An annoying, tiny pull that gave way into a tug. And then the guilt.

_…I can’t sleep._

Misaki lay awake, staring blankly at the wall, thoughts consuming her, for a long while. She wasn’t quite sure how long it was, but time slipped away as the dull pounding of her head raged on and the sinking feeling in her chest lingered.

Though, eventually, her eyelids grew heavy, and her breathing steadier. Sleep was, at last, ready to take another willing victim, and she would soon be soundly unconscious after what felt like hours of-

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Immediately, she flipped over and snatched her phone off the table once more, already knowing what the name onscreen would read.

“Hello?” she said, holding the microphone to her ear.

“My deepest apologies, Misaki,” Kaoru replied simply. “I have attempted all of the methods you have suggested to me, and yet, sleep eludes me.” She paused. “…I was wondering if you might speak with me.”

There was something a little different in her voice. A little bit of a vulnerability, perhaps, and not one she had heard before.

It made her heart ache.

“…Alright, Kaoru-san. What’s on your mind? Everything okay?”

“I am…unsure.” Kaoru made a few noises, as if she was trying to start a sentence, but changed her mind right after. “Misaki. My chest pains with such a feeling even the most eloquent words of the greatest philosophers cannot begin to describe. The tense anticipation of my further academic endeavors consumes me,” she said finally. “The thought of pursuing my one true passion envelops me with such an excitement that sets my heart atwitter. Though, on the contrary, the notion of no longer playing in a band with you and the members of Hello Happy World fills me with such great despair.”

“…Ah, okay, I see.” _Makes sense._ Misaki thought for a moment. “Well, you’re not going too far, right? We’ll be able to see you all the time when you come home for the holidays. And the band won’t be the same without you, just sometimes we’ve gotta do some tough things. But we’ll always be your friends, you know.”

She didn’t consider herself particularly good at comfort. But countless memories of the times Kaoru was there for her flashed in her mind.

This felt minuscule compared to all of those.

“…You’re right. My, how the fleeting depths of your kind soul soothe me so, dear Misaki,” the prince said softly. “I am reminded of the reasons I treasure all of you so when I hear you utter such words. I can only hope to have gifted all of you a small portion of what you have given me.”

She smiled. “I’m sure you’ve spread a lot more happiness than you know, Kaoru-san. And you’ll be able to spread even more where you’re going, I’m sure.”

“Thank you, Misaki. I sincerely believe my high school youth would have been much dimmer without your fleeting light.” A beat. “…Or perhaps, I thank the heavens that fate deemed we cross paths.” A moment. “…Or if I may offer, the stars have… goodness, me.” She coughed, silent for a stretch.

“…I have read many a tome from many an esteemed author, as I’m sure you are aware. But I cannot seem to find the words to sufficiently express my gratitude, dear Misaki.”

Usually, she found it difficult to formulate a response to another one of her over-the-top compliments. That was something that never got easier over the years.

But there was just something about how authentically the guitarist spoke. Her flowery language seldom faded, but her words rang truer than they ever had. No dancing around the point with quotes left and right.

“Happy to help, Kaoru-san.”

There was silence on the other line for a bit.

“Well, an eventful day awaits us tomorrow. I will keep you no longer. A kitten needs rest, after all,” Kaoru said matter-of-factly, previous frailty there but fleetingly, as she might say.

“You’re right about that.” Misaki’s eyes wandered to the time. Ah. Not like it mattered, anyway. “Get to sleep, alright?”

“Of course. Good night, Misaki.”

“Good night, Kaoru-san.”

_Click._

—

“Wow, looks so…empty,” Misaki mused as five pairs of eyes looked around the room as one.

“Yeah, it feels kind of lonely without all of Kaoru-kun’s pretty purple stuff in it,” Hagumi sighed sadly, slumping her shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Hagumi!” Kokoro piped up, placing a hand on the red-haired girl’s back. “I bet all of Kaoru’s things will look even better in her new room!” she said with confidence, looking to Kaoru as if for confirmation.

The prince nodded after a brief hesitation. “Indeed, Kokoro! I will be sure to send pictures aplenty, rest assured.” Kaoru moved to pick up a few stray books that had wandered onto the floor, replacing them into a particularly heavy-looking cardboard box.

“W-well, your school seems really exciting, Kaoru-san. I know you’ll do great. And at least we’re in the same boat, right?” Kanon said with a soft smile, taking it upon herself to heave a bin up in her arms with a knee as assistance. “I’ll, um, help take these to the car. Kokoro-chan, Hagumi-chan, would you mind lending a hand?” The two nodded eagerly and began to help with all the vigor and energy of an over-excited pair of rabbits, bustling about and stacking their arms tall with boxes before bounding out of the room, Kanon caught up in their wake and trailing behind.

Silence fell over the room without the “idiot duo”’s presence to fill it. Not a word was spoken as they stood side by side in a room that was previously decorated elegantly with philosophy books, photographs, and numerous shades of purple.

Misaki craned her head upwards to catch a glimpse of Kaoru’s face, concerned for her unnatural quietness. The expression was unreadable. She rocked back and forth on her heels, hands in her pockets, biting her lip with worry.

“…Kaoru-san?” she ventured after a while. The tall girl’s eyes peeled away from watching out the window to meet hers.

“Mm?” Kaoru tipped her head, a placid smile on her lips.

She felt a sudden urge overcome her. Before she knew what was happening, her hand was wrapped around the older’s arm, fingers grasping at the material of her sweater.

“…How are you doing?”

Kaoru’s gaze flickered down towards the contact. “As well as one can be,” she replied levelly, still fixed on the hand.

“Yeah? Yeah, well, you can talk to me, I mean, if you want.” _Why does my throat burn?_ “I know you were, uh, having a hard time. And, you know, you were there for me a lot, so if you need something, just…”

Realization began to sink in. _Oh, God. I said that out loud._ “…Hah, sorry, that was weird. Kinda just...Kaoru-san…?” She looked down to see a palm rest atop her own, slender fingers squeezing gently.

“Thank you.” The simple words were enough to effectively shut her up entirely. Her tone was nothing but kindness; a kindness she had grown more and more used to over the past few years. And her eyes shone with the same warmth, perhaps bordering on affection.

Misaki felt her hand’s grip on Kaoru’s sleeve loosen as it slowly fell back down to her side. But Kaoru’s hand followed, still laid atop hers. And she felt another urge.

She grabbed it, not tightly, but she grabbed it. She felt Kaoru’s grip loosen slightly, but didn’t pull away. Kaoru’s hesitant gaze locked with hers.

Her face was filled with a profound sadness that made her tense. “Misaki…” Kaoru started, looking between their clasped hands and her face, conflicted.

“I…” She wasn’t sure what had come over her. She wanted to say something, anything. But there was something about the reaction that made her freeze. There was something about the pained look in her eyes that made her feel as if she was melting from the inside out.

Kaoru opened her mouth to speak, every word seeming to cause her physical pain.

"Misaki... We can't before I-"

Crashing and banging in the hallway caused her to recoil as she felt Kaoru do the same. As if on cue, the rest of Hello, Happy World! barreled into the room, Kokoro and Hagumi looking proud and Kanon somewhat exhausted.

“All done! Boy, that was fun!” Hagumi stretched her arms over her head and giggled.

“Hagumi carried four boxes on top of each other! It was so cool!”

“I-it was until they fell and we had to repackage them!” Kanon cried, watching with faint amusement as they bounced up and down.

“What talent, Hagumi! Splendid. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your assistance, dear friends. I believe it’s time we head outside.” Kaoru gestured to the door. “Shall we?”

They shuffled out of the room one by one, spirits somewhat dampened. They conversed about the future while they walked, about how their live shows wouldn’t be the same without her, about how she was sure to land the lead roles every time while she was over there in her fancy new school, about how they’d text every single day so she wouldn’t miss a thing.

The sun’s rays hit Misaki squarely in the face as they stepped outside, sky growing orange as evening fell. The band bid their goodbyes, with Kokoro and Hagumi (and, to be fair, Kanon) hugging for much too long, clearly not wanting to let go.

Kaoru, just as she would do, squeezed each one back in turn as they wished her well. Hagumi promised to win her next softball game in her honor, Kokoro declared she would ask her family to construct a building to have fun in when she came to visit, and Kanon said they should try to coordinate their commutes back when they were home for breaks.

And not long after a few tears from Hagumi and Kanon and the last of the reluctant farewells, they were gone, disappearing over the horizon as they walked home together.

And Misaki was alone with Kaoru.

“It doesn’t feel like you’re really leaving,” she said, scanning the mountain of boxes filled with things that were, just a few hours ago, neatly placed in Kaoru’s room.

“I must admit, it does not feel as if I am leaving myself,” Kaoru chuckled lightly in response, turning a childhood photo album over in her hands before putting it away again. “Though the preparations have been long and strenuous, it remains difficult to fathom that I will not wake up in my bed and journey to Haneoka in the morning as I normally would.”

“I, I guess so. I’m sure everyone feels that way when they first head off to college, though. I’m sure you’ll adjust quickly,” Misaki reassured her. “And you know the other three. They’ll be calling you and texting you every minute of the day. We’ll still be close.” The street outside Kaoru’s house was painted with the sunset’s warm glow, casting many long shadows. A breeze picked up and a chill crept into the air, signaling night drawing closer.

“A most comforting thought indeed.” Upon peering up at her, Kaoru’s expression was distant, mind somewhere else as she seemed to simply watch cars pass, hands on her hips.

She didn’t notice she herself had spaced out staring at her until Kaoru suddenly turned to look at her. Embarrassed, she quickly looked away to try and pass it off as an accident, cheeks hot from being caught in the act.

But if Kaoru noticed, she didn’t show it. _This feels kind of familiar, somehow..._

“Misaki, I’d not like to say goodbye to you.”

“Huh?” Misaki snapped her head back around to meet Kaoru’s eyes again, staring back blankly.

“I’m afraid the semester would be over before I had said all I’d like to say,” she whispered. Her face wasn’t a joking one. In fact, it was reminiscent of the pained, regretful look on her face from before.

“Um, Kaoru-san?”

“Would you take offense if I asked you to go home now, Misaki?” Kaoru said.

A bitter wind blew past, sending chills up her spine. But they weren’t quite from the cold.

“I guess not.”

Kaoru’s eyes finally looked away to fix intently on the street as if her life depended on it. “Then,” She swallowed, clearing her throat. “It’s getting quite late. If a kitten like you is to stay safe, it would be wise to begin the commute to your home now.”

Misaki hesitated. “Uh, okay, Kaoru-san. Whatever you say. Have a safe trip. Um, text me when you get in, and all that.” She lied. She didn’t want to go home. She wasn’t sure why, but she wanted to stay there.

“We’ll miss you.” She felt every muscle in her body scream with protest as she turned around to leave, the sky nearly dark and streetlights flickering to life overhead.

“See you, Kaoru-san,” she called over her shoulder to no reply as she walked away, the parting leaving a sinking feeling in her chest as she grew further and further.

_…That sucked._

The feeling lingered even after she got off the train, unlocked the door, and fell into bed. And it stayed as she tried to close her eyes to go to sleep, only to stare up hopelessly at the ceiling as her thoughts were filled with nothing but the conflicted look on Kaoru’s face. And she felt like she was melting all over again.

She had never said goodbye to a friend like that before. It was a bittersweet thing, she was always told, and while it was easy to say she was heading towards bigger and better things, the hard part was feeling like it. Goodbyes were always filled with some kind of indescribable grief, as everyone said to her.

That was what Misaki told herself was keeping her awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO IT'S 1AM AND I JUST FINISHED THIS CHAPTER. ahhh writing the tension here was so challenging and yet so fun, i hope i did a good job of capturing it. im not sure how much everybody likes this so i guess this will be my last interest check chapter per se to see if i should keep all my focus on it or start on something else kaomisa, because i do have a lot of ideas i want to do. so of course if interest for this one is low ill make something new! but anyways i hope you like this for now the slow burn is reallll!! any and all feedback is appreciated thank you for reading!


	4. Freshman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Misaki now a freshman in college and suddenly moving in with Kaoru, things get a lot to handle after a while.

“Well, Misaki, a warm and hearty welcome!”

Kaoru took a few steps back to admire their handiwork, hands on her hips as she looked about the room.

All of Misaki’s belongings lay packed neatly in boxes piled high throughout the hallway and in what was to be her bedroom. There was still a lot to be done, but the feeling of satisfaction was justified after the amount of physical labor necessary to move everything into the flat.

“Thanks, still can’t believe I’m here. Well, you’re here. We’re here.”

The proposal to move in together had been one born of convenience. Naturally, when news circulated that Misaki was accepted into a school mere minutes from Kaoru’s and there happened to be a vacant bedroom in the older girl’s flat, that was all it was. Convenience and nothing more.

It wasn’t as though she minded; the decision was practical and mutually beneficial, and she would be lying if she said she hadn’t missed the guitarist’s presence in their time away. It was the obvious choice, though still a shock to the system after being apart from one another so long.

There was just one issue that nagged in the back of her mind; constant, ever-present.

“Indeed! Ahhh, how I thank the stars that fate deemed we cross paths once more!” Kaoru placed a hand to her chest, engulfed with passion and shut her eyes, that familiar expression on her face. “Is everything to your liking? Anything at all you desire that I may retrieve for you?” She gestured around the quarters.

“Oh, no no, I’m alright. Thanks, Kaoru-san. Just gotta finish unpacking and get ready for next week is all.” Misaki sighed, staring at the mountain of various sized containers, most of which would have to be emptied and their contents set up before classes began in a few short days.

“If there is any way I can be of assistance, you need only ask,” Kaoru insisted with a twirl of the hand.

“I will,” Misaki said, picking up a box with a low huff. “I really appreciate all the help. I’d better get started putting this stuff in my room now though, unfortunately. Thank you, Kaoru-san,” she added again, throwing her a tired smile.

Kaoru nodded. “Very well. If there is anything at all, my dear-“ She held up a hand.

“You’ll be the first to know, I promise.” Finally letting up, the actress hesitantly took this as her cue to flick on a light switch and duck into the kitchen with a sincere “best of luck” thrown over her shoulder.

Misaki turned to the seemingly endless mound of luggage, a dread mounting in her chest.

_Yeah, I’m gonna need it._

—

A soft knock on the half-open door jolted her from her groggy state as she sorted her belongings agonizingly slowly. Straightening her back and turning around from her seat on the floor, the source of the noise was identified: a violet-haired head poking through the opening, hand on the knob.

“May I come in?” the head asked. With a brief nod of consent, Kaoru pushed open the door fully and entered the room, bringing with her a familiar scent as she kneeled down beside her. A steaming plate and silverware was in her arms.

Looking down at the platter, Misaki blinked. “Hamburg…steak?” she said, half questioning, staring up at Kaoru dumbfounded and pointing to the traditional family restaurant-style meal. The delicious aroma reminded her of just how hungry she was; she couldn’t recall the last time she had eaten.

“Correct. I thought you might appreciate a spot of dinner, since I hadn’t seen you come out in a moment.” Kaoru seemed to look around the room for a table and, realizing there wasn’t one quite yet, decided to simply put the dish on the floor next to her.

“Really? It hasn’t been that long though, I…” Misaki’s eyes wandered to the clock, and then quickly to the pitch-blackness of the window outside. “Oh.” Her brain struggled to process the gesture in her fatigue as she shook her head, a pointless attempt to jumpstart her senses.

“Is there anything you might like to drink?” Kaoru’s gaze was warm, concerned.

“Just, uh, water would be fine.” Slowly, her mind began to catch up. “Wait, did you make this? It looks amazing!” It was one of her favorites, looking just as if she had ordered it straight from the menu.

“Ah…” The actress suddenly looked very sheepish, a hand rubbing the back of her neck. “Unfortunately, I cannot begin to claim to have such culinary talents. However, the family restaurant across the street certainly does,” she laughed lightly. “I’ll retrieve your water for you. It’ll only be a moment.” She heaved herself off the floor and stood up straight with a quiet grunt, moving towards the door.

Misaki got to her feet abruptly, catching the older before she left. “Wait!”

She turned around, a surprised look on her face. “Misaki?”

“Oh, um. Thanks.” She suddenly felt very awkward.

A kind smile graced Kaoru’s lips. “My pleasure.”

* * *

“Finally done…” Misaki unceremoniously flung the papers on the coffee table and slammed her pencil on top, reveling in the glory that was finally finishing university homework with time to spare. She sighed with relief, allowing her head to roll backwards as she felt it hit the back of the couch, blankly staring up at the ceiling.

_Feels nice to be done._ She simply closed her eyes and lay like that for a few moments, the only sound accompanying her in the living room being the ticking of the clock on the wall and the soft whir of the fan above.

And it was in the moment where she leaned up and opened her eyes again that she realized she had nothing to do for the first time in weeks.

Lately, the days had all been a blur of school, studying, and getting settled in the apartment; when things were first starting up, there was bound to be little time for much else. Over time, she grew used to the routine that offered few moments to herself, with any breaks she did happen to have spent sleeping or organizing her still-abundant belongings.

But it had been a while since the day she had just moved in, and now, in the calm of the moment, Misaki was alone with her own thoughts. It felt foreign and strange.

It was the only chance she got yet for her mind to wander to her family, and life back at home. She was always a family-oriented person; she loved her siblings, and cared for her parents. And sure, it was hard to leave them, but it didn’t really feel like she had. It never quite clicked.

The band came to mind soon after: her second family. Something she would have had trouble admitting not long ago, but now, it went without saying. She hadn’t thought she would miss changing into a sweaty costume to appease her excitable fellow band members nearly on the daily, but when it was no longer necessary, she found she did. A lot.

A burning sensation was felt in the back of her throat, and stinging in her eyes. _Urgh. Gotta stop thinking about this._

But she couldn’t. Memories of the times spent with the rest of Hello, Happy World! flashed in her head, the many occasions on which she was begrudgingly dragged into their mischief. Yet at the end of each day she went home with a smile. The faces of her family were fresh in her mind.

And only after weeks of running around, getting settled, and never having a free moment, it was all hitting her that those times were gone.

“God damn.” Before Misaki knew it, she was crying. The stress of the days overflowed like a waterfall and crashed down in waves, having been kept at bay for much too long. She sat on the living room couch, legs to her chest as she allowed the sobs to overtake her. It was a quiet cry; not quite ugly yells of pure anguish, but rather a subdued, shocked sadness that couldn’t be suppressed any longer.

It felt like she hadn’t been offered time to process all that was happening around her. And in one of the only moments of nothing she had, it caught up to her, everything all at once, though it had been creeping for weeks.

As she allowed the tears to freely stream down her face while she cried, head buried in her knees as she hugged them close, she was dimly aware of the fact that this bout was likely brought on by sheer exhaustion and nothing more; sadnesses like these passed.

But that didn't make it any easier to ignore how terribly, terribly cold and how terribly, terribly alone she felt.

Distantly, the telltale jingling of keys in the lock, followed by the creaking and clicking of the door as it opened and closed was heard. There came shuffling as a coat was removed and hung on the rack, and the muffled sound of footsteps on the floor. And then abruptly, they stopped in the middle of the room.

“…Misaki?”

Immediately, crossing the room in a few short strides, a pair of long, lanky arms wrapped around her shoulders. Warm arms, familiar arms. They pulled her close, carefully yet urgently bringing her head up to rest on a tall chest. A hand tenderly brushed the hair out of her face, fingers traveling in a gentle outward motion that was wonderfully soothing over and over again.

“Oh dear.” Kaoru’s soft voice met her ear as the older girl switched to rubbing her arm in an up and down motion.

As she began to process the situation, Misaki simultaneously felt ashamed and grateful. It wasn’t her intention for Kaoru to see her like this--not like she hadn’t before, but the actress was already doing so much for her. It felt criminal to inconvenience her further.

But it was the endlessly comforting sensation of being held. Rather, not just being held, but being held by her.

She wasn’t sure how long passed until her cries quieted and she calmed, slowly but surely, aided by the protective presence of the former guitarist. And though her tears had stopped, Kaoru’s gestures never did. The occasional lips softly pressed to the top of her head, the quiet whispers of affirmation in her ear, the hand that was now rubbing steady circles in her back.

It never stopped, not for a moment.

They stayed like that for a while. Long enough so that Misaki noticed night fell.

In the back of her mind, as Kaoru rested her chin on her head, was the undeniable fact that it felt strangely nice to be this close to her. She was aware that this was certainly walking the line between “friendly” and something else entirely, but she couldn’t find it in herself to ponder it further.

Instead, she noticed the sweet, floral scent Kaoru often wore that brought about a sense of pleasant familiarity, and felt the steady beat of her heart and rise and fall of her chest underneath her.

“Kaoru-san?” Misaki said after a while, craning her head up to look at the taller girl, the last time she saw her face feeling like ages ago.

“Mm?” she replied, looking down at her with nothing but kindness in her eyes. Her hand moved to gently stroke the top of her head, fingers running through her hair as they brushed downwards.

“Thanks.”

Kaoru paused, motions ceasing for the first time. “…Of course.” And then they resumed.

But neither of them moved. Even as both of their breaths steadied and Misaki felt herself slip further and further into unconsciousness, she had no desire to leave. She didn’t want to be apart from her.

_…I’m going to be late to class tomorrow._

And she was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here with another chapter wooo yay!! sorry for the slight delay, scrapped something else before working on this.. i left the conversation leading up to them moving in kind of vague on purpose, just felt it was better left up to the mind. this chapter is shorter but i thought it was best that way for this one in particular. i think i'll be focusing most if not all my attention on this now so updates will be closer together because my inspiration said kaomisa good. i dearly hope you enjoyed, my heart was so soft writing this one (finally fluff!), any and all feedback is appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> me: i won't post for a little while, it's gotta be annoying seeing all my fics  
> me, posting three days later: yeah that's good enough  
> ANYWAYS i have a lot of really fun plans for this, im hoping it'll be several chapters and kinda long. i'd like to thank lolda (if they're cool with me mentioning them here) because they helped SO much with the idea and inspiration for this fic and in general like thank you. so much. please check out their stuff they're amazing  
> i realized all my fics of these two thus far have been them already in a relationship, so i wanted to try something new, and i'm having lots of fun with it, i actually ended up really proud of this first chapter. i sincerely hope you all enjoy, any and all feedback is appreciated! wow i love kaomisa!!!


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